About My Diary

This blog is a story blog and is meant to be read from the first post, if you read it out of order it might not always make sense. This story is in no way connected with my other one except by the fact that they are both written by me.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Dont use the same adjective

Just for the sake of not using the same word over and over I'll saw "eeeew" this time.
Seriously? Why do they want to find me a "eligible maiden" otherwise known as a girl friend.
You have no idea how frusterated/disgusted my face is right now. This time I'm glad to talk about the ants. Anything is better than "that".
So, today we found out what the ants are using the stuff for (well at least some of them). They work really fast, the maple tree tribe invented airplanes! There have been many sightings though so I think that other clans have this knowledge too. I even found their hangar. Did you know ants are good at diplomacy? Well these ones are, they formed an alliance with the bees and are borrowing some hive space for their planes. I think they are exchanging flower locations for hive space, little smarty pants. The "metal magpies" are even more enjoyable than the "booming beetles" because they are much more gracefully and I can see them better from my room. Best of all (and a big reason I wanted to talk about the planes) is that when a girl came to visit, remember the retarded matchmaking thing?, the ants dive-bombed her! It was hilarious, the plane went right through her hat on the first pass and on the second pass she threw herself flat on her face... To my glee in a mud puddle.
The few good things of this matchmaking thing are;
1. I can annoy my advisors (and even Jarvis sometimes) by completely ignoring their questions on the matter
2. I get to watch the girls that do come fall prey to my booby traps (one couldn't even get through the gate. The gatekeeper that day was fond of money)
3. ... I think that I'm done for today, I must be tired if I can't think of anything else that pains my caretakers about this daring business, how dissapointing.

yuck, kings have to deal with this too?

Well this sure is getting interesting, more mini thefts were perpetrated last night. This time wood of all things were stolen though. Last time they made rifles and machine guns and the time before that they made tanks. What could they be doing with wooden planks?
On the subject of castle life it's not too different except now they are trying to find me a girl. They had dating services back in the medival ages? When Jarvis asked, "what are your thoughts on this?" I made the most digested face I could and said "pass". You should have seen the look on Jarvis's face, he almost jumped when I made my disgusted face.
I wasn't very happy but if my advisors saw that they would think it was because I was lonely so I had to be careful and artfully dodge all questions about the subject.
Whenever they wanted to ask me a question and kept asking so I couldn't ignore them, that is when I utilize my treehouse. Unfortunately I have to be careful because now I share my hideout with an ant tribe. Last time I hid up there I was almost seen by the machine gun ant (the maple tree tribe only has one) and I'm not sure I want to know what would have happened if he had seen me, I'm surprised I saw him really.
Over the past couple days I found that watching highly advanced ants is much more fun than listening to castle advisors so I always try to hold meetings in my house. That way I can watch the ants and sometimes I even get to enjoy the yelps of an advisor that didn't watch where he put his feet.
I wonder how much those little rifles (im curious about the machine gun too) can go through...

Monday, June 13, 2011

Smart bugs, bugged people

Ug, these ants are too darn smart. They created guns, I even heard one or two machine guns going off. At least most only have rifles but now if you flip over a tank you get riddled with rifle shot. So now you need a very protective helmet and chestpiece if you don't want to have the doc pull tiny BBs out of your hide... This advice isn't from personal experience.
This morning I found out they had new weapons when the kitchen clan fired a round into my poor chef and used the distraction to grab some food. I heard that since then three incidents occurred with the exact same circumstances. Can these ants communicate long distance in some way as well? There's too many questions, will they develop more weapons? Should we guard the blacksmithy and alchemists? How smart are these darn ants? my villagers are all in a hubbub and I can't tell them that I know what's happening, the counsil didn't approve that idea. Even though I'm kinda only the king here I don't have as much power as I need to take care of my people. What if those ants develop something like modern artillery, they wouldn't have to even be in the city. Oh wait, I shouldn't even think about modern weapons. Last time I though of boots they found a way to make them. It would be a lot worse if I thought of... Never mind. No, wont tell you what I just thought of. For all I know they could be reading your brain not mine, your the one reading this and thinking about stuff. Do you really have to keep reading this? This is kind of my diary. You like reading it? Hmm, I guess if you really have to keep reading you can but do it whithout thinking of your newfangled weapons. Hey, I saw that! I think that for today I should stop writing, maybe that will help you to stop thinking. Signing out,
The Kingster

Sunday, June 12, 2011

I wish they were in technicolor

Ok I'm not so sure now. During the night some blackpowder and other substances were taken. And in small enough portions to leave only one suspect. The blacksmith is missing steel this time though, even worse.
Can they read minds because the only way I can think of them getting across is with rubber boots and there is rubber trees around here. Are these ants really that smart? The council is having a meeting to decide what to do but as usual they are getting nowhere. I didn't come this time though so at least if they do get an idea it will be theirs.
I got bored so I tried the paper planes trick again but since they were expecting it I came up with a new design and colored it red and black instead of leaving it white. The reaction was even better than before, I almost fell into the moat myself.
I think that the beetles aren't as scary as we thought because I discovered (with the help of Jarvis) that they can't see very well behind them and since the treads make a good amount of noise, for ants, they can't hear us either.
Once you overturn it they can't use the gun because the powder falls out of the cannon. They quickly craw out of the tank in melee mode though so it's best to do it with a stick. This is from personal experience. The ants themselves are very sneaky though. Some of them have paint on them and it makes it difficult to see them. Apparently they paid a visit to the weavers and borrowed some dyes...

Bed time

Im about to go to sleep. I havent found out much about the tanks except that that's where the blacksmiths iron went. The advisors suggested flooding the city in just a few inches of water to force the ants out into the open but then I pointed out that most of them were hiding and they were scared. What would they do if all the ants were roaming at the same time? Besides that if they invented a mechanical beetle couldn't they make a simple boat? Sometimes I think that my advisors say things just to see what I'll say because they don't know what to do.
I don't really know what else I found out today... Oh, wait. I found out that near my house there is six tribes of ants. The cellar, attic, dining hall, kitchen, maple tree and cattail tribes. I bet you will never guess where they live.
I still haven't found out what their government is based on but then again I haven't been able to get close enough to any of their cities to see. (I tried digging up the spot the cellar ants were at but the tanks started firing from the wine rack where they were stored. I hope the general doesn't come over for a visit because he always wants wine and I don't think the ants would agree to my chefs tampering with their garage.
Just a thought but if they are smart enough to build tanks what other devices can they come up with. I hope they don't come up with boots so they can get past the concoction protecting the alchemists stuff. Last time they got into the wizards station they invented tanks.
I'll have to make sure they can't tomorrow because I'm beat and have to go to bed.
Hum? No I'm not going to make sure now. They can't read minds and so the alchemists potions and stuff will be fine untill tomorrow and that's that.