More (sea)shells

I have alot more holes in my window today than yesterday. Bombshells really mess up your windows man. I tried negotiating with the ants again but they said I would have to entertain them somehow to make them stop, I can't think of any way to entertain an ant.
Yesterday I traveled to the beach, straying from the ant topic. I got to make a sand castle today like a normal kid, teenager or not that made me happy. After making a very un-king-like castle I walked along the shoreline. It was so nice, stopping here and there to pick up shells, not having to worry about my entourage (I didn't let them come), the waves lapping at my feet.
If only every day at the catle was like this, it makes me time sick really, I want to be back in the future... I like it here but I liked it better there.
I had to distract myself from annoying thoughts like that by watching the sunset and let me tell you, that day it was easy to distract yourself with it. It was a gorgeous hue of red slowly fading into a magenta type color then into robins egg blue. And as the sun went down it became more and more red untill the stars came out.
The stars, I fell asleep last night looking at the stars...

My diaries name is Dave

Sorry diary, I couldn't visit you yesterday because the ants were all over the place. By the time I got home I was dead tired. I really need to find ANOTHER solution to the fighting. The harrasment is enjoayable when it happens but the consequence afterwards isnt so fun.
I know that you can't answer but do you have any ideas Dave Diary? Great I'm going crazy, I'm talking to my diary as if it can answer. I have to check for ants in my bed and then go to sleep. Oh, speaking of looking for ants there's proof that they have snipers now, they can retaliate without you even being able to see them. They're so small you can't find them if they are only 20 feet away.
[sigh] well bed time, sorry Dave I'm tired.

Live commentary

"Im trying something new today... WOAH, too close.
I'm trying to live commentate an ant battle! I grabbed a wooden spoon for my mike and I hope they don't spill my inkpot.
Ok here goes."
As the shells fly through the air, yellow team (pantry ants) has snuck up behind the blue team (cattail tribe) and sunk a battle ship, but wait! Red team (Maple tree clan)just smoked them out, oh where is yellow teams backup? They have just been smoked out of their rafts and the.. Ooh that looks like it hurt!
Oh there they are! Green team (cellar ants) have taken advantage of yellows suffering and just pulled the old tripwire trick on a plane taking off, red team will NOT be happy.
Oh here they all come, the mother of all battles is about to take place right in... What a minute... THAT'S MY FOYER!
Hold on a minute.
"No, no stop![bang] owowowow, no get out!" [clang] get out darn it! [thud]
Ow, sorry about that, I had to stop the fighting by getting hurt, they aren't allowed to hurt humans so they had to retreat. I don't have any more paper to wrote on now so I guess I'm done, they spilled ink on it after all.

...The bombs bursting in air...

Today I was minding my own business... Well actually I was trying to lighten the cookie jar but it's my kitchen. And I almost got caught of no fault of my own. The cellar stairs are straight behind a side window in the kitchen and apparently the cattail ants were starting an engagement. Right as I had a hand in the cookie jar a artillery shell came smashing through my window and flew straight down the cellar stairs. Immediately the mortars downstairs started a conversation with the artillery on the pond. After a few frantic seconds and a few smashed bottles of wine I managed to crawl out to the pond and lob a few black walnuts at the pond ants... Drawing their attention on me. Not wanting to get hit by an entire artillery shell since I knew what a bullet felt like I decided the best decision was to make a tactical retreat, Very very quickly.
After successfully evading the artillery fire and stopping the war going on right through my house I found to my chagrin that a stray mortar shell had scorched my sink and knocked over the cookie jar, no cookies for me today.

The fight continues

Dang ants, why do they love fighting. At least with the battles it seems their scientific advances have stopped. They started fighting near my house a lot, why did I have to put it on militaristicly strategic ground? And near prime real-estate too, the majority of the ant clan live near me. I have every faction near me and everything, antforce, marants and blue ants all in my yard and or house. The one day my cook had to rebake the bread because a plain crash landed into it. He wasn't happy and neither was I, I wanted that bread. Tonight I'll have to remember to check under the bed, and not for monsters. Last night I didn't sleep very well because there was a tank on guard duty under my bed. It squeaked all night long and when I almost fell asleep it saw a squad of enemy ants an opened fire.
Can they really get any more annoying? At least they haven't pulled out the artillery yet I suppose, I don't want to start paying roof bills again. I almost wish someone would get hurt so I could tell the ants to stop since they broke the treaty. They're too careful though. I paid a drunk to walk down an alley I knew they were fighting in that night and they ceased fire only long enough to let him through then started up the racket again.
Any ideas?