Today I was minding my own business... Well actually I was trying to lighten the cookie jar but it's my kitchen. And I almost got caught of no fault of my own. The cellar stairs are straight behind a side window in the kitchen and apparently the cattail ants were starting an engagement. Right as I had a hand in the cookie jar a artillery shell came smashing through my window and flew straight down the cellar stairs. Immediately the mortars downstairs started a conversation with the artillery on the pond. After a few frantic seconds and a few smashed bottles of wine I managed to crawl out to the pond and lob a few black walnuts at the pond ants... Drawing their attention on me. Not wanting to get hit by an entire artillery shell since I knew what a bullet felt like I decided the best decision was to make a tactical retreat, Very very quickly.
After successfully evading the artillery fire and stopping the war going on right through my house I found to my chagrin that a stray mortar shell had scorched my sink and knocked over the cookie jar, no cookies for me today.
